Let’s Talk about Founders Divorce
It’s been 4 months since I resigned from my own startup that I’ve found and built for 5 years. Weeks before that, I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t eat. There was increasingly daily stress from interacting with my Co-Founders, it’s hard to make decisions at work and it’s clear that we no longer have the same vision for the future of the company.
Yesterday I spoke to 250 participants at BCA’s SYNRGY Accelerator & KUMPUL’s webinar talking about parting founders like myself. I talk about the Founders Agreement, what should be in it (e.g. Company Buy Back and Vesting Period), the list of questions you should answer together to align with your Co-Founder, and if things don’t work out, what’s the breakup checklist you should have. If you’re interested to get the slide, write on comment below, or DM me on instagram @salsabeela and I’ll send you the link.
I’m happy that SYNRGY & KUMPUL specifically requested me to talk about this for their accelerator. According to Prof. Noam Wasserman, 10% of partnership breaks after 1 year, and 45% breaks after 4 years. We need to normalize talking about difficult situations, to be more prepared with the solution when it happens.
At the end of the session, I get an interesting question: “Do you have tips so we don’t hate each other after we part?” — I need to laugh a little bit at this. I mean, so what if you hate each other? It’s only normal after series of disagreements and possible hostility, that you end up hating each other.
If they hate you, you can’t control that. Now focus on what you can control: yourself. If you hate them, sure go ahead, you can hate them as much as you like. But also process your emotions at the same time.
I express myself through writing and journaling. I write about my anger until it turns into disappointment. I write about my disappointment until it turns into sadness. I write about my sadness until it turns into understanding. I write about my understanding until it turns into love.
My meditation teacher, Deva, told me to put into my heart, the people that I hate, and pour so much love into them. Ewwww! But okay. I cringe at that idea, but I still put them one by one in my heart, and sending them some love, until, my discomfort dissolves, and what’s left is only peace.
Thank you SYNRGY, KUMPUL, and the wonderful host Carlos, for having me.
