What hurts you is your own judgment of situations. I pride myself as a stoic. People misinterpret that as a cold non-emotional bitch. There’s some truth in that, but not the complete picture of what a stoic means.
For me, being a stoic in a nutshell means, to have high self-discipline and being aware of your own thoughts, to hold your virtues: wisdom, justice, courage, and temperance, to stubbornly keep coming back to center and consult to your higher mind/directing mind (hegemonikon), to know the things that you can control and things you need to let go, to manage judgment of situation to be aligned with your vision for the greater good of the community.
In terms of being non-judgemental to other people, Stoicism suggests that we see people from their perspective: how they were brought up, how can they acquire values that turn them into who they are, and their decisions in life. After a while, you’ll understand why they did what they did, and you’ll have a sense of compassion and understanding, instead of judging and blaming.
This mindset has made it super difficult for me to be on Twitter: mostly because I don’t have an opinion on other people’s behavior. They can do what they want to do as long as they didn’t disrupt the harmony of the Whole.
Apply this also in judging yourself. Be compassionate with yourself. It’s okay to make mistakes and it’s okay to be not perfect, because all humans on earth are not perfect, except for Jason Momoa. Understands why sometimes you get triggered, but also try to improve and progressing next time.
Everything is okay as it is. Remember that the most important is not what’s happened, but how you react to what’s happened. To me, ataraxia is the way. Cheers to being: undisturbed.
If you’re curious about stoicism, read Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations. Get it here: http://bit.ly/beliperenungan